by Vivek
Friday, November 4, 2016
Wednesday, November 2, 2016
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
Friday, September 16, 2016
The Yogi attitude towards life
When life gives you lemons, ....
you put them in a matka and clear your left side!!
Smiling along with you,Tuesday, September 13, 2016
Tuesday, September 6, 2016
Wednesday, August 31, 2016
Wednesday, August 10, 2016
Monday, August 8, 2016
Kids meditation
- Who likes chana? said the lady leading the kids meditation.
- Shri Ganesha, said one kid.
- Who likes butter?
- Shri Krishna, said another
- Who likes sweets?
- I do, said a little boy.
- Shri Ganesha, said one kid.
- Who likes butter?
- Shri Krishna, said another
- Who likes sweets?
- I do, said a little boy.
Monday, August 1, 2016
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Black is beautiful
I had a dream that I was shopping for a birthday gift for one yogini, Sindhu, in our collective here in Bahrain.
I wanted to buy an Indian scarf for her but I didn't know which color she likes so I prayed to Shri Mataji to help me pick Sindhu's favorite color.
I heard Shri Mataji's voice say "pick this black one".
I picked up the black scarf and it had some nice patterns but then I thought "Oh my god, Shri Mataji, black is for funerals, this is a horrible gift."
Shri Mataji just laughed and I woke up.
I thought maybe this dream was trying to tell me that Sindhu was going to a funeral so I didn't know if I should tell Sindhu my dream because I was afraid it would be bad news.
When I finally told Sindhu she laughed and said that before Sahaj her favorite color was black and that the dream was she Mataji's Leela.
(from Katherine)
I wanted to buy an Indian scarf for her but I didn't know which color she likes so I prayed to Shri Mataji to help me pick Sindhu's favorite color.
I heard Shri Mataji's voice say "pick this black one".
I picked up the black scarf and it had some nice patterns but then I thought "Oh my god, Shri Mataji, black is for funerals, this is a horrible gift."
Shri Mataji just laughed and I woke up.
I thought maybe this dream was trying to tell me that Sindhu was going to a funeral so I didn't know if I should tell Sindhu my dream because I was afraid it would be bad news.
When I finally told Sindhu she laughed and said that before Sahaj her favorite color was black and that the dream was she Mataji's Leela.
(from Katherine)
Monday, July 25, 2016
Tasty shoes
In Romania, one seeker wanted to know all the treatments in Sahaj and how to get rid of negativity, so in an email, one yogini was explaining to the seeker how she can do paper burning or shoe beating.
The seeker replied saying "I understand the paper burning but I didn't know that shoe eating removes negativity, how do you do that?"
The yogini said, "shoe eating??!"
She checked the previous email and saw that she typed "paper burning or shoe eating" instead.
(from Katherine)
The seeker replied saying "I understand the paper burning but I didn't know that shoe eating removes negativity, how do you do that?"
The yogini said, "shoe eating??!"
She checked the previous email and saw that she typed "paper burning or shoe eating" instead.
(from Katherine)
Wednesday, July 20, 2016
Real shoe beat
A seeker came to class in Chinese collective he wanted to learn how to shoe beat.
Someone explained to him how to do it.
The next day he came to class and his shoes looked very ripped and worn out.
The yogis asked if he had been shoe beating all day with so much strength and will power he said he got a baseball bat and beat his shoes all day.
(from Katherine)
Someone explained to him how to do it.
The next day he came to class and his shoes looked very ripped and worn out.
The yogis asked if he had been shoe beating all day with so much strength and will power he said he got a baseball bat and beat his shoes all day.
(from Katherine)
Monday, July 18, 2016
Miracles at Guru Puja in Canajoharie
(true story)
One yogi was looking at his phone with disbelief:
- I have no signal here
- My wive's messages telling me what to do are reaching my phone
- When I reply to her I get an error
One yogi was looking at his phone with disbelief:
- I have no signal here
- My wive's messages telling me what to do are reaching my phone
- When I reply to her I get an error
Sunday, July 10, 2016
Sunday, June 19, 2016
Three candle treatment
Someone asked him how long his candles lasted.
He looked shocked and said, "Do you mean I'm supposed to light them?"
Friday, June 17, 2016
The correct way to do foot soak
When I and my mom were first learning about foot soaking in Canada we had one yogini from France who has a thick French accent.
She told us she wanted to teach us how to "footsock", so we went to the river in the summer wearing flip flops and we carried socks with us.
Everyone sat down on the rocks to take off their shoes, meanwhile, we took off our slippers and put the socks on to go into the water.
Everyone was looking at us confused and asked why we wearing socks we said "we're going to footsock" because it is said that u can feel more vibrations in ur feet if u were socks.
So we wanted to feel the vibrations in the water and thought that's why it's called foot sock.
It took us 10 minutes of arguing to realize that it's foot soak, not foot sock.
(from Katherine)
She told us she wanted to teach us how to "footsock", so we went to the river in the summer wearing flip flops and we carried socks with us.
Everyone sat down on the rocks to take off their shoes, meanwhile, we took off our slippers and put the socks on to go into the water.
Everyone was looking at us confused and asked why we wearing socks we said "we're going to footsock" because it is said that u can feel more vibrations in ur feet if u were socks.
So we wanted to feel the vibrations in the water and thought that's why it's called foot sock.
It took us 10 minutes of arguing to realize that it's foot soak, not foot sock.
(from Katherine)
Friday, April 15, 2016
Mantra for hot food
What mantra can you use to cool down the hot food?
Any mantra, 108 times.
Then the food is cool!
from Aurelian Porumb
Any mantra, 108 times.
Then the food is cool!
from Aurelian Porumb
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
Inside the Agnya of a lazy yogi
Time - 10:30 PM
Yogi - (Yawning) I am gonna skip footsoaking tonight. Let me sleep now and I shall wake up at 4 tomorrow, take a bath, footsoak and sit for meditation. Yes, that seems like a good plan.
Wait, that leaves me with only five and a half hours of sleep. Hmmm. Perhaps, I shall not sleep at all. After all, it is a test of my Guru tattva. So, if I don't sleep for the rest of the night, I can improve my Guru tattva by witnessing the desire to sleep.
But what shall I do till then? Won't I get bored? Let me sit on the computer.....
(3 hours later - 1:30 AM)
Oh! Is it just 1:30? Two and a half hours to go. I am feeling really sleepy now. Maybe I should close my eyes for a while. After all it is not good to starve the body of sleep and make it suffer. That is against Sahaja.
Time - 4 AM - The alarm rings
Yogi - Oh! Is it 4 AM already. (Switches alarm to 4:30 AM). Just a little while longer. If I sit for meditation now, I am just going to fall asleep. It is better to feel wide awake while meditating.
Alarm rings at 4:30 AM
Yogi - (Switches alarm to 5 PM) I might not have time to take a shower, footsoak and then meditate. I can take a shower in the evening. Besides, it is cold outside today. Mother has said that one should not take a shower and immediately step out into the cold. But if I don't take a shower, then I have some extra time on my hands. Well....
Alarm rings at 5 AM
Yogi - Oh no! I planned to wake up at 4 and now it is 5. I am a horrible yogi. Oh! All my plans have gone to waste. Now what is the point of footsoaking and meditating? Well, since it is already an hour late, why not sleep some more? (Switches alarm to 5:30 AM)
Alarm rings at 5:30 AM
Yogi - No time left to footsoak properly. I will have to rush. I can do it in the evening. After all, Mother has said that we should meditate once in the morning and once in the evening. If I do footsoaking now, what shall I do in the evening? Let me get up at 6:30, meditate and have breakfast. (Switches alarm to 6:30 AM)
Alarm rings at 6:30 AM
Yogi - (Wakes up, brushes his teeth etc. and enters meditation room) Ah! Now I can meditate. Wait, I am feeling hungry. Maybe I should have breakfast first. No, that will take some time to make. I should meditate first and then have breakfast. But then I won't have time to make breakfast. What should I do? ....
Mother says that meditation needs only ten minutes so I think breakfast first is a better idea. (Goes into kitchen).
Time - 7:20 AM
Yogi - Ah! That was a good breakfast. Now, I can meditate. (Looks at the time) What, I have only ten minutes! I need to leave at 7:30 to reach my office in time for this meeting. Oh God!
(Takes a quick bandhan). Why won't the vibrations flow? What is catching today? (Feels catch on Agnya and left Vishuddhi). Hmm, that is strange. Why should my Agnya and left Vishuddhi catch? Maybe I have not forgiven myself. Probably I am feeling guilty for getting up late.
Mother, I completely forgive myself for all my actions.
(Catch still does not clear) Mother, I forgive myself. Mother, I ..... Oh no! It is 7:30 already. I have to leave now. (Takes another bandhan). Well, I can always come home and footsoak.
(Time - 10:30 PM) - Well today was a tiring day, what with the incessant alarms in the morning and not being able to sleep till late last night. Anyways, let me footsoak now. (Starts feeling sleepy and yawns)
(Yawning) I am gonna skip footsoaking tonight. Let me sleep now and I shall wake up at 4 tomorrow.......
Disclaimer - All events in this joke were recorded from personal experience in the witness state. Any resemblance to this joke in your daily behavior is not merely coincidental - in fact, it indicates a serious problem. Please correct it.
Enjoy laughing!
Love,
Vivek
Yogi - (Yawning) I am gonna skip footsoaking tonight. Let me sleep now and I shall wake up at 4 tomorrow, take a bath, footsoak and sit for meditation. Yes, that seems like a good plan.
Wait, that leaves me with only five and a half hours of sleep. Hmmm. Perhaps, I shall not sleep at all. After all, it is a test of my Guru tattva. So, if I don't sleep for the rest of the night, I can improve my Guru tattva by witnessing the desire to sleep.
But what shall I do till then? Won't I get bored? Let me sit on the computer.....
(3 hours later - 1:30 AM)
Oh! Is it just 1:30? Two and a half hours to go. I am feeling really sleepy now. Maybe I should close my eyes for a while. After all it is not good to starve the body of sleep and make it suffer. That is against Sahaja.
Time - 4 AM - The alarm rings
Yogi - Oh! Is it 4 AM already. (Switches alarm to 4:30 AM). Just a little while longer. If I sit for meditation now, I am just going to fall asleep. It is better to feel wide awake while meditating.
Alarm rings at 4:30 AM
Yogi - (Switches alarm to 5 PM) I might not have time to take a shower, footsoak and then meditate. I can take a shower in the evening. Besides, it is cold outside today. Mother has said that one should not take a shower and immediately step out into the cold. But if I don't take a shower, then I have some extra time on my hands. Well....
Alarm rings at 5 AM
Yogi - Oh no! I planned to wake up at 4 and now it is 5. I am a horrible yogi. Oh! All my plans have gone to waste. Now what is the point of footsoaking and meditating? Well, since it is already an hour late, why not sleep some more? (Switches alarm to 5:30 AM)
Alarm rings at 5:30 AM
Yogi - No time left to footsoak properly. I will have to rush. I can do it in the evening. After all, Mother has said that we should meditate once in the morning and once in the evening. If I do footsoaking now, what shall I do in the evening? Let me get up at 6:30, meditate and have breakfast. (Switches alarm to 6:30 AM)
Alarm rings at 6:30 AM
Yogi - (Wakes up, brushes his teeth etc. and enters meditation room) Ah! Now I can meditate. Wait, I am feeling hungry. Maybe I should have breakfast first. No, that will take some time to make. I should meditate first and then have breakfast. But then I won't have time to make breakfast. What should I do? ....
Mother says that meditation needs only ten minutes so I think breakfast first is a better idea. (Goes into kitchen).
Time - 7:20 AM
Yogi - Ah! That was a good breakfast. Now, I can meditate. (Looks at the time) What, I have only ten minutes! I need to leave at 7:30 to reach my office in time for this meeting. Oh God!
(Takes a quick bandhan). Why won't the vibrations flow? What is catching today? (Feels catch on Agnya and left Vishuddhi). Hmm, that is strange. Why should my Agnya and left Vishuddhi catch? Maybe I have not forgiven myself. Probably I am feeling guilty for getting up late.
Mother, I completely forgive myself for all my actions.
(Catch still does not clear) Mother, I forgive myself. Mother, I ..... Oh no! It is 7:30 already. I have to leave now. (Takes another bandhan). Well, I can always come home and footsoak.
(Time - 10:30 PM) - Well today was a tiring day, what with the incessant alarms in the morning and not being able to sleep till late last night. Anyways, let me footsoak now. (Starts feeling sleepy and yawns)
(Yawning) I am gonna skip footsoaking tonight. Let me sleep now and I shall wake up at 4 tomorrow.......
Disclaimer - All events in this joke were recorded from personal experience in the witness state. Any resemblance to this joke in your daily behavior is not merely coincidental - in fact, it indicates a serious problem. Please correct it.
Enjoy laughing!
Love,
Vivek
Friday, April 8, 2016
Extra-powerful shoe beating
A new yogi was told to do shoe-beating to get rid of his problems. The next day, he was observed with very worn-out looking shoes.
Everyone thought, "Wow! This is a very powerful yogi, he did shoe-beating till his shoes were worn out."
So, I asked him, "Sir, you are a new yogi yet you have mastered the art of shoe beating. Can you give me some tips on doing this extra-powerful shoe beating?"
He said, "Sure, I took a baseball bat and whacked my shoes with it till they wore out. That's how I did shoe-beating!"
*
If you didn't get the joke, wait for some time. You will get it.
Love,
Vivek Raghuram.
Everyone thought, "Wow! This is a very powerful yogi, he did shoe-beating till his shoes were worn out."
So, I asked him, "Sir, you are a new yogi yet you have mastered the art of shoe beating. Can you give me some tips on doing this extra-powerful shoe beating?"
He said, "Sure, I took a baseball bat and whacked my shoes with it till they wore out. That's how I did shoe-beating!"
*
If you didn't get the joke, wait for some time. You will get it.
Love,
Vivek Raghuram.
Monday, April 4, 2016
The yogi and the tiger
A Sahaja Yogi meets a tiger in the jungle.
Yogi : Om twameva sakshat Shri Durga sakshat....
Tiger : (Puts paws towards yogi) Hey, your centre heart is catching. You need to take that mantra twelve times. I am going to wait here till you complete it.
Yogi : (cannot understand Tiger-ese) Mother, you are the protector of your children. Please protect me from this beast before me.
Tiger : Yes, Mother. Please protect me from this beast standing before me.
Yogi : Oh God, this tiger is not moving. (Starts giving bandhans - writes 'Tiger' on his hand and gives bandhans to that)
Tiger : (Thinking - Oh, so many vibrations. Someone must be giving bandhans for me. I have been unable to catch any prey for a long time, so I had asked the Realized Tigers to give me bandhans for it. Maybe today is my lucky day. I might find some prey - sees Yogi - hey!)
Let me vibrate my food first. Om twameva sakshat Shri Annapurna sakshat.....
Yogi : (Thinking - oh so many vibrations are raining upon me. The bandhan has worked! Now, a miracle will occur and this tiger will suddenly turn into a mouse! I can't wait to see that.)
The yogi never saw the miracle.
Don't feel too sad, though. He took another birth and has written this joke. After all, only the body dies. The Spirit is immortal.
With love,
Vivek Raghuram
Yogi : Om twameva sakshat Shri Durga sakshat....
Tiger : (Puts paws towards yogi) Hey, your centre heart is catching. You need to take that mantra twelve times. I am going to wait here till you complete it.
Yogi : (cannot understand Tiger-ese) Mother, you are the protector of your children. Please protect me from this beast before me.
Tiger : Yes, Mother. Please protect me from this beast standing before me.
Yogi : Oh God, this tiger is not moving. (Starts giving bandhans - writes 'Tiger' on his hand and gives bandhans to that)
Tiger : (Thinking - Oh, so many vibrations. Someone must be giving bandhans for me. I have been unable to catch any prey for a long time, so I had asked the Realized Tigers to give me bandhans for it. Maybe today is my lucky day. I might find some prey - sees Yogi - hey!)
Let me vibrate my food first. Om twameva sakshat Shri Annapurna sakshat.....
Yogi : (Thinking - oh so many vibrations are raining upon me. The bandhan has worked! Now, a miracle will occur and this tiger will suddenly turn into a mouse! I can't wait to see that.)
The yogi never saw the miracle.
Don't feel too sad, though. He took another birth and has written this joke. After all, only the body dies. The Spirit is immortal.
With love,
Vivek Raghuram
Sunday, April 3, 2016
April 1st
Check the archive of other jokes on April 1st:
http://www.sahajayogablog.org/search/label/april%20first
http://www.sahajayogablog.org/search/label/april%20first
Friday, April 1, 2016
New branch of Sahaja Yoga - 3rd Communication from the Spontaneous Innovation Council
In the recent years, our research team worked hard to find new ways of practicing Sahaja Yoga.
As a result, different branches were launched: Sahaja Meditation, Meditation Yoga, Free Yoga, Free Meditation, Meditation Sahaja, and even Yoga Sahaja. Each of them with a huge success.
Recently, we have started to investigate new ways of helping Kundalini raise. We noticed that Kundalini goes against gravity so we figured out that the more we push up, the faster the energy will raise. The results are amazing.
So today, we are launching a new branch of Sahaja Yoga. We’ll call it Jumping Yoga. The name is accessible as everybody knows what jumping is and all know what yoga is. Presenting it will be easier as we don’t have to explain all the terms, so less work for us.
The way to practice it is the following: instead of sitting quietly for meditation, the practitioners have to jump as high as possible.
The result is instantaneous: everybody feels joyous and starts laughing like never before. You can try it yourself.
See attached some images from different events where we started teaching it.
You can practice it in the city.
You can practice it outside of the city.
Age does not matter.
We also used it for an African tribe and while reluctant at first, they embraced it soon after. They now have a daily collective jumping session.
Try it today: five minutes in the morning and five in the evening will make a big difference in your life.
A Jumping Yoga class will be opened soon in your area.
As a result, different branches were launched: Sahaja Meditation, Meditation Yoga, Free Yoga, Free Meditation, Meditation Sahaja, and even Yoga Sahaja. Each of them with a huge success.
Recently, we have started to investigate new ways of helping Kundalini raise. We noticed that Kundalini goes against gravity so we figured out that the more we push up, the faster the energy will raise. The results are amazing.
So today, we are launching a new branch of Sahaja Yoga. We’ll call it Jumping Yoga. The name is accessible as everybody knows what jumping is and all know what yoga is. Presenting it will be easier as we don’t have to explain all the terms, so less work for us.
The way to practice it is the following: instead of sitting quietly for meditation, the practitioners have to jump as high as possible.
The result is instantaneous: everybody feels joyous and starts laughing like never before. You can try it yourself.
See attached some images from different events where we started teaching it.
You can practice it in the city.
You can practice it outside of the city.
Age does not matter.
We also used it for an African tribe and while reluctant at first, they embraced it soon after. They now have a daily collective jumping session.
Try it today: five minutes in the morning and five in the evening will make a big difference in your life.
A Jumping Yoga class will be opened soon in your area.
Sunday, March 13, 2016
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Friday, February 12, 2016
Thursday, February 11, 2016
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Friday, February 5, 2016
Thursday, February 4, 2016
The light bulb
Q. How many Sahaja Yogis does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. All the change needs to be spontaneous, so they don't want to be involved.
A. None. All the change needs to be spontaneous, so they don't want to be involved.
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
Monday, February 1, 2016
Friday, January 29, 2016
Thursday, January 28, 2016
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Monday, January 25, 2016
Friday, January 22, 2016
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
How to be more collective (part 2)
Check part one here
*
Real story:
Jai Shri Mataji
Please share the photo attached. It's my cat, Nyla, attending the online meditation class.
She stands up for Aarti too.
We thought this pic might make you smile.
Sherida
*
Real story:
Jai Shri Mataji
Please share the photo attached. It's my cat, Nyla, attending the online meditation class.
She stands up for Aarti too.
We thought this pic might make you smile.
Sherida
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
Monday, January 18, 2016
Friday, January 15, 2016
Thursday, January 14, 2016
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