Inside the Agnya of a lazy yogi

Time - 10:30 PM

Yogi - (Yawning) I am gonna skip footsoaking tonight. Let me sleep now and I shall wake up at 4 tomorrow, take a bath, footsoak and sit for meditation. Yes, that seems like a good plan.

Wait, that leaves me with only five and a half hours of sleep. Hmmm. Perhaps, I shall not sleep at all. After all, it is a test of my Guru tattva. So, if I don't sleep for the rest of the night, I can improve my Guru tattva by witnessing the desire to sleep.

But what shall I do till then? Won't I get bored? Let me sit on the computer.....

(3 hours later - 1:30 AM)

Oh! Is it just 1:30? Two and a half hours to go. I am feeling really sleepy now. Maybe I should close my eyes for a while. After all it is not good to starve the body of sleep and make it suffer. That is against Sahaja.

Time - 4 AM - The alarm rings

Yogi - Oh! Is it 4 AM already. (Switches alarm to 4:30 AM). Just a little while longer. If I sit for meditation now, I am just going to fall asleep. It is better to feel wide awake while meditating.

Alarm rings at 4:30 AM

Yogi - (Switches alarm to 5 PM) I might not have time to take a shower, footsoak and then meditate. I can take a shower in the evening. Besides, it is cold outside today. Mother has said that one should not take a shower and immediately step out into the cold. But if I don't take a shower, then I have some extra time on my hands. Well....

Alarm rings at 5 AM

Yogi - Oh no! I planned to wake up at 4 and now it is 5. I am a horrible yogi. Oh! All my plans have gone to waste. Now what is the point of footsoaking and meditating? Well, since it is already an hour late, why not sleep some more? (Switches alarm to 5:30 AM)

Alarm rings at 5:30 AM

Yogi - No time left to footsoak properly. I will have to rush. I can do it in the evening. After all, Mother has said that we should meditate once in the morning and once in the evening. If I do footsoaking now, what shall I do in the evening? Let me get up at 6:30, meditate and have breakfast. (Switches alarm to 6:30 AM)

Alarm rings at 6:30 AM

Yogi - (Wakes up, brushes his teeth etc. and enters meditation room) Ah! Now I can meditate. Wait, I am feeling hungry. Maybe I should have breakfast first. No, that will take some time to make. I should meditate first and then have breakfast. But then I won't have time to make breakfast. What should I do? ....

Mother says that meditation needs only ten minutes so I think breakfast first is a better idea. (Goes into kitchen).

Time - 7:20 AM

Yogi - Ah! That was a good breakfast. Now, I can meditate. (Looks at the time) What, I have only ten minutes! I need to leave at 7:30 to reach my office in time for this meeting. Oh God!

(Takes a quick bandhan). Why won't the vibrations flow? What is catching today? (Feels catch on Agnya and left Vishuddhi). Hmm, that is strange. Why should my Agnya and left Vishuddhi catch? Maybe I have not forgiven myself. Probably I am feeling guilty for getting up late.

Mother, I completely forgive myself for all my actions.

(Catch still does not clear) Mother, I forgive myself. Mother, I ..... Oh no! It is 7:30 already. I have to leave now. (Takes another bandhan). Well, I can always come home and footsoak.

(Time - 10:30 PM) - Well today was a tiring day, what with the incessant alarms in the morning and not being able to sleep till late last night. Anyways, let me footsoak now. (Starts feeling sleepy and yawns)

(Yawning) I am gonna skip footsoaking tonight. Let me sleep now and I shall wake up at 4 tomorrow.......

Disclaimer - All events in this joke were recorded from personal experience in the witness state. Any resemblance to this joke in your daily behavior is not merely coincidental - in fact, it indicates a serious problem. Please correct it.

Enjoy laughing!

Love,
Vivek